Even When you Share the Same City, They Still Won’t be the Right one for you
Call me a cynic, but I don’t believe in “right person, wrong time.” Maybe there was a time in my youth when I did. Whether it was an unrequited crush, a talking stage/situationship that ended prematurely, or a relationship that I walked away from. Even so, I always knew that even if things were good at one point, they didn’t work out for a reason. And that’s something you should keep in mind when it comes to your own relationships.
Maybe the person you were talking to and/or dating was only seeking validation or a casual relationship. But you wanted something serious. Even if your idea of a relationship lines up, you still might not be the right fit for a plethora of other reasons. Yet something still has you holding onto this belief, this fantasy, that they are the right person. It could be a deep inherent fear of not wanting to lose the right one. Or you’re afraid you will never find better. They are an incredible person in every way, and you don’t want things to end. So you delay facing the music to give your heart time to catch up with your mind. Either way, you spend so much time waiting for the timing to be right. So much so, that you don’t realize you are asking yourself the wrong question. Instead of wondering, “When will the timing be right?,” you should be asking yourself,
Is this person right for me right now? If so, what have they done to prove that?
Are they investing as much as I am, and do they think I’m the right person for them?
Are they treating me like a priority or an option?
What incompatibilities are present within the relationship? Are they temporary or permanent? Are they dealbreakers or things we can work on together?
Do they see my worth, or do I have to constantly prove it to them?
Do our visions of the future line up?
Your answers to these questions will help you determine if they are right for you. Chances are, your answers will prove that they are actually the “wrong person, wrong time.”
Nostalgia and your inner desires make you see them through rose-coloured glasses. You’ll focus on…